1.03.2001

can i confide? i like the smell of blood. oohoo.
"Are you loony?
To borrow a phrase from Forrest Gump, loony is as loony does. You know how true that is — in fact, you've embraced it. Because while you certainly have your moments of insanity, you know when to say when. Sure, you get a kick out of occasionally doing and saying things other people think are goofy or off-the-wall — you're a real sucker for being the center of attention now and again — but there are plenty of times when you'd just as soon be calmer and more serious. The same goes for expressing your emotions. No stranger to strong feelings, you choose your battles and control your highs and lows, saving your emotional outbursts for when you need them most. After all, fun and craziness are all well and good, in the right time and place, but balancing your "up" and "down" times earns you more respect in the long run. Not nearly as nutty as a fruitcake — but maybe giving Pralines 'n' Cream a run for its money — you're the perfect mix of impulse and restraint."
-Emode

it's all ok. *wink - grin*
"she don't cry, she only smiles. keep on smiling, you'll get pardoned"
ooh. eeii. meep. mwah. i'm just delectable. thanks for asking.
i don't really care anymore. i'm oh so light. flitting past the stars. but i'm bad. and i'm doing wrong things. don't care.
turn back & there's hell. here is a better kind of nothing.

eeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. i'm.oh.so.bad.
"i see here standing in that line. and it's not quite the perfect crime coz she's got, got a flawless face, you know."
i want purple hair. mum knows i'll do it even though she doesn't want me to.
*sigh* i'm sorry, mummy. so sorry.
slowly twisting inside out, sitting on the corner of nowhere road.

1.02.2001

"this is dangerous, open up your head, feel the shell shock
this is dangerous, i walk mindfields, watch your head rock"

no-one's updating journals. fuck.
and another 'fuck' for today. we've used 48 hours and we have another 52 to use until the 26th. we are FUCKed.
&shit. *sigh*
my ear is ITCHY. fuck
getting high on the lengthening of time.
OW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck. ow. ow. ow.
i'm in pain, i'm in PAIN
everything's bad. OK? BAD*sigh* how unusual. *sarcasm, sarcasm*

"Well she wants to take it by
and she tries
tries and tries so hard
I see her with her new shoes and make-up on
she'll have to make it up, make it up, make it up
She'll make it up X 2

Now I see her standing in that line,
and it's not quite the perfect crime
cos she's got a flawless face you know
but there's that
empty space the empty space empty space
you'll go between her ears
between her ears
but she still hears

yeahhhhhh ohh

And she doesn't know a thing
and she'll steal
that pretty ring, pretty ring, pretty ring
from off your hand
from off your hand
and she'll stand in line
she'll waste her time
she's willing to for you. "
KILLING HEIDI 'superstar'

everything's so technicolour. i feel monochrome

1.01.2001

tada. we have liftoff & a crappy layout. but lift off all the same.
and there's no software here for me today. boohoo.
and sob.
annie's site has appeared...i missed it.
&shit.

12.30.2000

and if you hate me, fight me. boring. soon to be 01.01.01
*yawn* i'll care later.
welcome to minuit. minuit.org/potent
hehehehehe. woah.

12.29.2000

she talked american? oh shit, she talked american.
why the fuck are you doing this to me, blogger?
fuck you. damn it! arg. not publishing are you? fuck you.
ARR!

12.22.2000

today is two holes in one ear.
today is Saturday.
today is boring.
today is the day that i give up.
heh.
so...hihi, annie. *wave*
&*yawn* boring.
"i transferred from LA, your school has no gymnastics team, this is a last resort *clap/clap*"
all hail Eliza Dushku! :)

12.21.2000

hating having to work with trail versions of CuteFTP + iMap Creator.
i have no money. i need money. *sneeze*
new chapter: lexi gets hosted at minuit
yay.
i waited. i'm obsessive like that. once i have my mind fixed on something like that; i wait for it.
and that's a bad thing...because you get disappointed.
and a lot of the time, baby, it's you i get disappointed by. and it's you who i think doesn't care about me. and it's you who i want to care about me the most.
i don't like feeling that no-one cares. i don't like feeling that no-one's listening. i don't like not being able to curl up in your arms and have you tell me that you love me. (i think that that'd be nice) i'd like to hear that you love me.
maybe i'm just always in the wrong place at the wrong time. maybe, maybe not.
did i hear you say that you care, ollie?
bless you.
waiting for kyhe to call is a pointless exercise + a waste of time better spent on watching carrots hibernate.
bah, humbug.

12.20.2000

this blog has effectively canceled out me writing in my diary.
watched the matrix. am now officially in a kick-ass mood.
i'm thinking weight training.
hayley &rich are going to the movies together.
hayley&rich together equals BIG TREES!
and yet no kyhe is in site, how sad. :( and now my CuteFTP watch-i-me is working. oh yeah, hallejulah.
damnit, kyhe. i shouldn't complain. just coz he's "useless".
*sniff*
I may be crazy, little frayed around the ends -Foo Fighters 'Break Out'

*sigh* well, finally that version is complete &hosting request submitted to minuit.
*yawn* but kyhe didn't call and i'm dizzy &tense. and kobie disappeared, leaving me pointless.
kyhe's leaving on friday &staying away for two weeks. which is bad & i don't think i'll be seeing him tomorrow.
christmas is only 4 days away & i don't feel any xmas cheer. damn straight about reindeers killing people...

<< a
and voila. is this what ftp is? well, hallejulah. i can do it. i love you.
annie-lee, i love you.
lauralee, i love you.
kyhe, baby, you're a dickhead. you're sweet. i guess i love you.
but i only guess. *sigh*
and i hate your sister. >:P

12.19.2000

The hosting form for minuit
Name: Alexis
Site Name & URL: sour & www.envy.nu/shimmr/index.html
E-Mail: misery_pixie@yahoo.com
Comments/Suggestions: none as yet.

i love minuit, tra-la-la. lets be hoping for me to be hosted. how tacky am i? very. *sigh*
why do i all-of-a-sudden have an incomprehencable addiction to Foo Fighters lyrics?

Tonight I'm tangled in my blanket of clouds
dreaming aloud
things just won't do without you matter of fact
I'm on your back

If you walk out on me
I'm walking after you

If you'd accept surrender
give up some more
weren't you adored
I cannot be without you matter of fact
I'm on your back

If you walk out on me
Im walking after you
another heart is cracked in two
Im on your back

Walking After You, Foo Fighters


so, i want to get this darling blog of mine up on my site. *sigh* someone buy me a laptop.
my head is dizzy &spinning &annie went away.
and i'm still in the phases of site making and working out that damned FTP. not to mention the fact that no Kyhe has not called and he's leaving on Friday.
"i just kinda died for you, you just kinda looked at me" - Foo Fighters
that has got to be my favourite thing at the moment.
when you make yourself sick i think it's when you begin to worry
the tension in my neck is unbelievable
note to self : figure out how the hell FTP works/what it is.
help &meep!
{7:12}
*yawn* sigh. 7.03am. bed time was 1.00 or there around.
been woken for about...well, since about 6.35.
the plan is for hosting @ the lovely minuit.org . Mum walks in and says that I need to do more exercise because *gasp* I'm getting fat.
yeah, fuck you too.
the sky is grey with purple-grey clouds and the window's open and it's scary.
d'uva and kobie broke up + i feel doomed.
maybe i'm next on eliea's shopping list. she's a psycho, i swear to god.

Oh mirror mirror, you're coming in clear
I'm finally somewhere in between
I'm impressed, what a beautiful chest
I never meant to make a big scene
Will you resign to the latest design
You look so messy when you dress up in dreams
One more for hire, a wonderful liar
I think it's time we all should come clean
Stack dead actors, stacked to the rafters
Line up the bastards all I want is the truth
Hey, hey now, can you fake it,
Can you make it look like we want
Hey hey now, can you take it
And we cry when they all die blonde
God bless, what a sensitive mess
Yeah, but things aren't always what they seem
Your teary eyes, your famous disguise
Never knowing who to believe
See through, yeah but what do you do
When you're just another aging drag queen

-Stacked Actors, Foo Fighters
well, i'm going to finally get a home for this darling blog and my diaries and my writing and all my shit.

finally, finally, i will have a page and it will be a complete lexi-shambles.

but i will love it and hug it and kiss it and everything will be perfect.

i'm not gonna hide anymore, LET ME OUT!

12.18.2000

feed me lies + i'll eat them up without hesitation.

lust-ful-ness is not a crime. *

hello blog. i love you.

lexi.